The Experience of Experiencing Video Games

Out of all the time I've spent playing video games, there's always a feeling I think back on that I know I will never be able to recreate no matter how hard I try: the feeling of first experiencing what will become one of my favorite video games.

I've pondered this time and time again, and while it isn't a thought that necessarily keeps me up at night, it is one that keeps me guessing for the answer. But then one day, I realized that the answer is that exact thing - learning new information.

My top two favorite genres are undoubtedly RPG/JRPGs and Visual Novels. I picked up the Ace Attorney Trilogy off of Steam during a random Capcom publisher sale after watching one of my favorite Youtubers (thanks, RamZaes) and I recently picked up the Famicom Detective Club games on the Nintendo eShop. I'm a sucker for a good mystery - and when a story is written well, I don't mind there being tons of dialogue (I mean, that's what you sign up for when you play a visual novel).

These games kept me on my toes, and I loved them, but I could never play them again with the same feeling I had during my first playthroughs - and that's because I had discovered the undiscoverable already. I go into a lot of games blind - honestly, think of it as going on blind dates - and I enjoy being tossed and turned throughout the story. I think about the fact that I will not experience those games for the first time ever again, and additionally, how I take that for granted time and time again. Whether it is being wow'ed by the art style, falling in love with a cast of characters, or solving the overarching mystery (I'm looking at you, Persona 4 Golden) from clues picked up along the way, the games I hold to my heart the closest are ones that give me a sense of accomplishment through discovering something for the first time. You know - curiosity!

9 times out of 10, games that focus solely on mechanics frustrate me (that one game that doesn't is Rocket League - probably the most mechanical game to exist). Therefore, games that do not focus on perfecting your game play gives me a sense of expression within myself. The best moments in these games to me are simply when I don't know what to do, so I'm forced to learn and figure out new things - the key to the art of storytelling. The downside is that it is impossible to experience discovery twice; I can't just forget who the culprit is or what clues led me to that catching onto their evil schemes.

But, that's a small drawback for me. I love games like these; they gave me unforgettable memories and experiences. As much as I wish I could experience certain games for the first time again...I can't, and that's okay. I can only take time to reflect on how games like the Ace Attorney Trilogy, Fire Emblem Three Houses, and Persona 4 Golden made me feel initially and hope one day that I can come across another game that makes me feel the same way.

If I go looking for that game, I won't find it. If I go searching for that feeling, I won't find it. Each game mentioned above came across my plate through others when I wasn't even looking for them - I think a lot of people give me the same advice about my love life. However, as long as I seek out specifically to experience a game in that way, I know I'll never find it.